I spent the weekend hanging around the apartment and spending time with my host family. I think we've established a solid relationship, even though our communication abilities has been far from "conversational." Nevertheless, my host parents have been extremely patient with me, despite our clashes here and there. For example, my host family continues to believe that since I live in their apartment, I'm obligated to take my host siblings everywhere I go. I enjoy spending time with them, but I am not a babysitter. Nor am I 12 years old. At home, I sometimes feel more like the babysitter than the houseguest. I cook for the family often, but usually voluntarily because I genuinely enjoy cooking. When I threw around the idea of traveling to Japan, China, and South East Asia over winter break, my host parents wanted me to take their daughter along. I thought they were joking when they asked me to take her with me. I laughed. They didn't.
Sunday afternoon. I decided to finally unpack my "winter" clothes that have been sitting at the bottom of my luggage. Ok, I only brought a few long shirts, two sweaters, a scarf, and a fall jacket. Winters will be mild and windy I hear. Compared to the brutal snowstorms and icy temperatures back home in PA, I think I'll be just fine. As I was organizing my tiny room, I tacked up my linen painting of a woman playing her flute that I purchased at a flower market in Taiwan two summers ago. This painting has traveled with me everywhere. It brings good luck and fortune. It reminds me of home, and all of the places I have lived and traveled. I hang it over my bed so before I sleep, it centers my thoughts and puts my mind at ease.
Pictures. I love taking them, and I love looking at them. Certain pictures always bring back memories, both good and bad. Today I sorted through my stack of pictures. Many are from PSU football games, most are of my family-- my brothers goofing off on summer vacations, my family posing during Thanksgiving... in front of a feast of course, and my grandparents, looking as young as ever on their 50th wedding anniversary celebration on our cruise in Alaska this past summer.
Like music, these pictures always bring back certain emotions,stories, and even scents. For me, scent is the most powerful of the senses. I miss the smell of my bed, the smell of my clothes when my mother does my laundry, the pungent smell of curry when my father cooks, ok ok the smell of my brothers' (dirty) rooms, and even the smell of lounging in my parents' room on a lazy afternoon. From these pictures of family vacations, football games, cross-country roadtrips, and holiday feasts, I sometimes close my eyes and try to smell the icy Pacific Ocean, the roasting hot dogs and cheap beer, the campfires and cheap motels along route 80, and the scent of garlic infused stir-fry mixed with my father's impecible taste for fine wine.
I usually stare at pictures and wonder what the people are doing at the same exact moment. Sometimes I think of when the pictures were taken, and try to recontstruct the settings. Usually I sit and think (yes, I think A LOT) about what's next in life?
I strongly belive in fate and destiny. But I believe even stronger that the choices we make in life determines our fate. It is inevitable that paths will cross, mistakes will be made, and coincidences will occur. So I am just wasting my time worrying about "what's next." Life has its silly way of falling into place at the right time.
So getting back to the title of this post. Like the seasons, I am also changing, in more ways than can be expressed in this entry. Distance should never be an excuse in losing touch with people at home. After moving to Korea, those who have mattered the most to me in my life have kept in touch. If you're reading this and you haven't heard from me on a regular basis, too bad. Moving across the globe does quirky things to people. I don't take anything for granted. This experience has grounded me and made me appreciate more of what I had back at home... mostly my family, relationships with friends, and memorable experiences that have shaped me into who I am today.
People will always come in and out of my life. People will move away. Some friends will grow distant, others will grow closer. My brothers will evolve and mature even more. My parents will continue to look younger day by day. My grandparents will also continue to age gracefully. Maybe I'll return home and find the love of my life. Maybe I won't. Or maybe I"ll rekindle a past relationship. (or not...) One year will pass, I'll return back home as a 'changed' individual. Like the saying goes, change is good.
Family pics!
